In a long expected turn of events the International Amateur Athletic Federation (IAAF) has included men’s and women’s hammer events in the 2014 Diamond League schedule.
“What were we thinking!?” said IAAF president Lamine Diack while wearing his Rob Roeder buckskin hammer glove, “Everyone knows we all love the hammer and enjoy throwing all weights and wire lengths are our year end company picnic at Monaco’s Riverside Park.” Diack added, “Good ol’ Primo Nebiolo used to love throwing down some side bets with Shigenobu Murofushi throwing the 5kg hammer, with Shigenobu on a short wire to even things up a bit. Primo was always up to get everyone a few bucks and loved to hear what the athletes thought.” Always inspiring when speaking from his seaside office in the upper floor of the Villa Miraflores, Diack finished his short presser with a, “Athletes first is our motto!”
On a related note; in the USA, 49 states have decided to follow Rhode Island’s lead and have added hammer to their high school track & field meets and everyone who doesn’t have it added javelin.
*editor’s note: due to a kind and persuasive email from Kap’t. Keihas Jeff Gorski we’ve added javelin to our movement.